The Dark Knight Raises Some Questions

Well let me start by apologising for not blogging for so long...I'm slack like that...I'll try and get my act in order.

So I finally got round to watching Batman : The Dark Knight Rises, I've been looking forward to watching the latest edition in the Bale trilogy, because I have thought that he has been a superb Batman...I'd even go as far as to say...better than Michael Keaton...I know, I know..he was the first to done the mask on the big budget screen (If you don't count Adam West in his tights).

Anyway, I lit the fire...turned all the lights off...switched the surround sound up to 11, and prepared to be amazed and enthralled....and to be honest...I was a little let down...woh there neddy...let down I hear you cry...yes...let down. Not massively, I was still covered in goose bumps during several sequences..and it still pushed all the right emotional buttons...but.....here it comes....there were some cavernous holes in the plot! One glaringly huge one...which they just brushed aside as if the movie watching, batman fans wouldn't spot it...or question it.

I of course refer to the small matter of Bruce Wayne finding his way back from the prison in Albania to Gotham.....? Now since watching the film I have done some snooping on the net and found a great little site explaining all the questions asked by frustrated movie watchers like myself...here is the link if you would like to know more : http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Dark-Knight-Rises-Explained-Unraveling-Unanswered-Questions-32070.html

The link above does explain alot, but whilst watching the movie I'm sure that I, along with alot of other saddo's shouted "How the hell did he get to Gotham..and get a whole new wardrobe"!?!

This wasn't the only thing that bothered me about the movie...what the heck was Bane's voice about???? I couldn't look at the character of Bane, without seeing in my minds eye...Cringer from He-man....Scooby-Doo....and Pete's Dragon! It was the weirdest voice choice I've heard in along time...don't get me wrong...I kind of liked the voice...but not for Bane...a muscle bound mad man! It would have suited an English gent character...from Oliver Twist maybe...or a deeper Alan Partridge.....Ah-Hah Batman!!

So...after feeling that both the main characters had rather odd voices...I came up with this....enjoy!

An unexpected Suprise!

A few weeks ago we had a gathering which I talked about in a previous blog, concerning a party for Eurovision. You know, the one were someone infected me with the lurgy....ah that one!

Well I'm over the lurgy, and suddenly remembered that I hadn't told you about a wonderful surprise that one of our guests brought with them.

My partner EJ had organised the get together, and invited some of our old 107 The Bee listeners along. Now, as alot of you fellow radio presenters will know, you often get quite a few fans who are a bit on the odd side....or as we call them in the industry...'window lickers'........but you also get some positively delightful listeners as well. These are the people that are a pleasure to bump into whilst out and about...buying toilet roll in the local store.......the 'window lickers' not so much.

Anyway, one of the guests at our get together was the lovely Michelle, who had said in previous meetings...in said local store....that she had something for me. So of course I was excited to see what it was, and when she arrived at our house she revealed all.......

After welcoming her into the house, she told me to shut my eyes...and hold out my hands.....normally this is weird at the best of times, even more so when it's a listener to your radio shows....god knows what they are going to put into your hands. As I held out my fingers, I felt something cold and hard in my hands....I opened my eyes, and the object you see above was in my grasp.

My response was something along the lines of...'f**k off'....said in a nice way....not in a, get out of my house way. I couldn't believe that she had first of all, found the item, and second saved it for so long, simply for the purpose of gifting it to me. I was flabbergasted to be honest. The item is a biscuit tin, in the shape of an old fashioned radio.....but with my radio nickname on the front.....AMAZING! It was just a lovely thing to be given....by someone who listened to me on the radio....it is weird the effect you have on people who hear you on the wireless, you don't really realise the fact that what you say sticks with people.....I mean, I just said whatever spilled out of my brain most of the time. 

It's just lovely to know that she enjoyed my shows that much, that she went to the effort of getting that tin, and saving it for me........I'm still totally taken aback by that.

Thank you Michelle, it now takes pride of place with my other novelty radio's.

Too much time on their hands!

Now, I love to moan and whinge with the best of them....ask my other half....but it baffles me what some people complain about. To the point of actually contacting Ofcom, and placing an official complaint about the most minor of things....that could remove a perfectly brilliant advert...or even get someone the sack...just for coming up with something creative and off the wall!


Today, there has been a list released revealing 'The Top 10 most complained about Adverts', as logged by Ofcom. Every single one, as far as I can see...clever advertising!


The video above is a 2005 KFC commercial, which depicts office staff enjoying the food so much, that they are singing with their mouths full....not sure why it deserved to get as many as 1,671 complaints....non of which were upheld. I could understand if it was a 'Venkys' advert (Rovers Fan), but it wasn't...just clever advertising. Maybe alot of people thought they should eat with their mouths shut....which I agree with...but I wouldn't pick up the phone, or write a letter to make an official complaint!


In at number three in the Top 10 was an advert for Paddy Power, which received 1,313 official complaints.

I own a cat, and I love her dearly...but I think this advert is hilarious...clever use of humour to get the message across. Anyone with any sense can see that no animals were harmed in the making of this advert, and if any chav moron thugs decide to recreate the commercial...that's their twisted messed up head doing it...not the influence of a television advert!


It really pisses me off, the way that people blame television, film, computer games and music for the actions of some individuals. You have to have a serious screw loose, and major mental problems to carry out criminal offences..then blame a CD that you listened to...or a video game that was so realistic that it made you think...yeah...I'll go and kill a load of people because the game told me to....jeez...get the straight jacket ready...because your a mental!!


During my career on the radio, I have managed to clock up one official Ofcom complaint...which is pretty good going with some of stuff that has spilled out of my gob! My complaint was for taking the piss out of the Conservatives, by ringing the HQ and trying to apply for William Hague's job when he resigned. Some devout blue in the local area took offence, and contacted Ofcom directly because they thought it was in bad taste........it was investigated.....then Ofcom said they weren't taking it any further because they didn't see a problem with it, after hearing the audio. 


There are so much more important things in this world worthy of spending the time and effort complaining about, than some of the shit, pointless things that seem to occupy peoples pathetic little lives!


Think about what you are about to complain about, before you pick up that phone...or that pen.........................or even that blog...........what do you know.....I'm complaining now....ha!

I'm Dying!

Ha! Not really, but I sure feel like death warmed up today. What is it about colds that completely stop men in their tracks.....it's pathetic! I can quite happily say this...because I am a bloke.


I was at my Mothers yesterday to help her celebrate her 21st Birthday again....(Happy Birthday if your reading this mum), and started to feel the cold taking hold then. On arriving home, things started to swell...my glands.....sicko's. Then the tingling feeling all over my body followed...that horrible feeling that if someone touched you...it would hurt! Every nerve ending starts to shiver, and you know that the next few days are going to be hell!


Of course they aren't, you just feel utterly terrible...and it's all about the sympathy votes you can gain.


The main problem with feeling like this...runny nose....sore throat...and banging head ache, is that it's not very helpful for my line of work...doing Voice Overs...using my voice, which is now temporally screwed. 


I'm currently on 'Ibuprofen' and warm 'Ribena'....there are other vitamin packed drinks out there of course. I'm hoping that this virus, that has decided to investigate my body, sods off very soon, because I'm not ill very often...so of course this has bothered me a tad!


Now, who do we point the finger at for infecting me.....well, I can think of two main culprits....one of which is my long time good friend 'Spence', and 'Timbo' who I've become friends with through Rossendale Radio. Both of which have been ill the last few weeks...more so Spence....he seems to suffer with colds alot...?


We had a bit of a fancy dress bash over the weekend, celebrating the car crash that is Eurovision....and of course supporting the 'Hump'....who as we all know now, did extremely badly.....I mean, being beaten by Jedward once again in the points must hurt......England that is?!? It is all down to politics of course, and the rest of Europe hating us. I think if we had Robbie Williams or Elton John sing our Eurovision song, we'd still get stuffed. 


Anyway, at said party, alot of booze was consumed (mainly to help with watching Eurovision), and Spence was 'again' feeling a little under the weather....so my finger is well and truly pointing at him as the host for the dreaded virus, which now resides inside me.


Maybe I should call everyone to a meeting...Miss Marple stylie, and announce who the poisoner is......'I've gathered you all here, to reveal who has made me feel like a pathetic sniveling human being, who is finding it hard to even type this drivel'......'It was you Spence...wasn't it...with your long working hours, lack of sleep and studio germs'!.....'Take him away, lady dressed as a Disco Ball....and put him to bed....tuck him in, and make sure that he gets his full eight hours sleep'!


Either way, apologies to the next person that I no doubt will infect.....just hope it's not my mum....Happy Birthday...Love You.

Shaken not Stirred!

We had the official release of the new Bond blockbuster trailer today....'Skyfall', with of course Daniel Craig in the lead role once again. 


It features all the tell tale signs, and indicators that should be in Bond movie...beautiful women....tailored suits....explosions....car chases......suave Bond.....and a mysterious baddie in the shadows....ooooo exciting!


Now, the Bond movies have been around for some time, and I've always been a fan of them....even with Timothy Dalton, but has the original charm gone from the silver screen version of our patriotic spy hero? 


At this point I have to admit that I preferred the humour aspect provided by Roger Moore, and of course the legend Sean Connery. That element seems to have disappeared over the years, but Pierce Brosnan was a welcome addition to the Bond family, bringing his comedy delivery and dashing good looks to the role. When I found out that Brosnan was moving aside for a younger Bond to take over, I was a little worried that the role would become a bit of a over egged pudding.....but I like the style and feel of Daniel Craig in the role. 


Going against the stereotype Bond....tall, dark and hansom.....Craig is stocky and blonde....shock horror....a blonde Bond! Although saying that, they do seem to have toned down his hair colour for this new film. Since the introduction of Craig to Bond, the films style has changed dramatically as well...going darker and more gritty...this not a bad thing in my books. I always thought the original movies were always a little too technicolour....but then, that was the style back then. It just always seemed wrong for it to be so colourful, when there was so much death around....I mean, Bond did bump off quite alot of people didn't he.....all deserving of it of course. Hence the fact that Bond has had to move with the times, and most movies recently have gone dark.....again, I like this feel. If you were a trained killer, you wouldn't ideally be running around in broad daylight....you'd be hiding in the shadows....tightly holding your Walther PPK, waiting for that perfect moment to take out your target.....I imagine.


The one thing that has disappeared from the recent movies, are the over the top secret hide aways.....and where are the shark tanks that we all used to know and love....waiting for that informant to stand in just the right place, so the button could be pressed and he becomes fish food.


Two things that have stayed with all the movies...is that Bond is always cool as a cucumber straight from the fridge....and the beautiful ladies that simply flock to be near him. Boy oh boy there's been some absolute stunners hasn't there!?! I've always wondered if even Bond has had one too many Martinis...shaken not stirred....and woken up the next morning with a swamp donkey....or do you think that simply wouldn't happen, because it's Bond, and he wouldn't lower himself to that old saying 'It's ten to two....you'll do'!


As you can probably tell, I am a tad jealous of the lifestyle that Bond gets to have....not the shooting, strangling, stabbing, running over, punching, kicking, biting, gouging, head butting, nut grabbing, detonating, flame throwing, neck breaking, parachuting.....actually come to think of it, I am incredibly jealous of everything the character is able to do.....drive fast expensive cars, have any beautiful lady he desires, shoot a man from a mile away, kill someone with his little finger....and be able to walk out of the ocean wearing boxing trunks without ladies laughing at how small my manhood is.....hung like a pigmy shrew.


So the new super cool Bond film 'Skyfall' is out 26th October 2012, put it in your diary, and between now and then...try to get as many cheesy Bond one liners into conversation as you can!

Now that's what I call Entertainment!

Every year Simon Cowell and his minions drag out all the Middle Earth occupiers to take part in yet another edition of his 'Britain's got Talent' show.


This year was no different from many of it's previous incarnations....we had all the freaks in the build up rounds, who's parents and 'friends' tell them that they have some kind of talent, and yes, they think they would be amazing....when in actual fact they suck the big one...and are basically put on our magic picture boxes for us to point and laugh at. Very similar to what we used to do in the circus many years ago.


This is Saturday night telly as we know it now though....it's kind of changed since Bruce Forsyth, Noel Edmonds and Marti Caine was the main stay on our boxes. Do you know what though, I don't mind watching this stuff. I tend to like anything that the magic picture box churns out, because I grew up with the television box being my third parent...it was there for me at the flick of a switch, and I kind of love it for just being there...and providing me with entertainment.


Now, I've watched some of this current series...and yes we've had the freaks of nature....but do you know what...this show always finds diamonds in the rough. Susan Boyle being a prime example.....I was one of the millions who said those immortal words when she stepped out onto that stage...'what the f**k is that'? Yes, we all mocked her appearance, and her awkwardness...but then she started to sing...and every single person in that theatre, and around the country (including myself) sat up in our chairs, and we were utterly transfixed to what was in front of us. She had the most amazing voice...it actually brought me to tears...seriously! I couldn't believe how good her voice was....and that is what this bizarre show does...it finds stars, who are hiding away in some god forsaken place called Blackburn...Scotland. 


This series has done exactly the same thing, in throwing together the final two acts. I actually watched the one with Jonathon when he made his first appearance on the audition stage, and I remember thinking at the time...'This guy could be another Boyle' (in a nice way). Again the crowd in the theatre gasped at the obese creature that stood before them, not really knowing whether it was female or male. You could hear tittering and laughing from the inbred ticket holders, who obviously hadn't developed from junior school. Then Jonathon spoke, and yet more gasps were heard....mean while I'm sat at home, transfixed, waiting to be blown away by what he had to offer. The reason I knew there was something amazing on the way, was because we had been given an almighty sob story by Jonathon and his singing partner.....so that always gives you an indication something amazing is about to happen.


The music started, and I was so blown away by what came out of that obese lads mouth, I don't think I blinked....he had one of the best opera voices I had ever heard...it was actually humbling to witness what was happening in front of me. Then the emotion kicks in, you think to yourself, this poor lad, who obviously has confidence issues has been given this talent...and you think to yourself...you need to get used to standing ovations son...because your going to be getting a hell of alot more!


Rumour has it, that Cowell has already got plans for Jonathon....and that is why Cowell is one of the richest men on the planet...he knows that the lad is going to make him money...and he loves his money...and the ladies!


So back to the winner of tonight's show 'Ashlie & Pudsey'.....Cowell all the way through the current series has stressed that he would love a 'Dog Act' to win the show...because he's a fan of dog's.....(insert certain female's name here). He got his wish of course....and to be honest, if I had picked up the phone to vote, my vote would have been for Pudsey. Why I hear you cry...well, for one simple reason....every time I saw them perform on the show, I had a smile from ear to ear...and for some unknown reason I would cry with joy watching them.


It was something about the way Ashlie utterly adored Pudsey, to the point that you could see they had developed the kind of bond that most dog owners can only dream of. Whilst most dog owners are trying to get the family dog to stop eating the wives knickers...Ashlie has got Pudsey moon walking on stage, in front of thousands....on national telly!


I can't explain the inner joy it gave me to see how much they enjoyed each others company, it really made me cry with happiness...and that doesn't happen very often. I often cry at seeing people exude enjoyment...not sure why...I think it's got something to do with the fact that there isn't enough of it around!


So Ashlie and Pudsey have won Britain's got Talent for 2012...and why the hell not!?! There was alot of people on twitter earlier saying what the hell is going on with the world, when a dog wins a talent show.....well, consider this, you negative arse wipes...maybe all the people who voted for them, saw exactly what I saw...a bond that can't be broken...and long may it continue!


I wish them all the success in the world!

Derek gets Commissioned

It's a bit belated, but I felt as though I should write something about Ricky Gervais's show 'Derek' getting commissioned by Channel 4.


I love everything that Gervais has done...even 'Life's Too Short', which let's face it, wasn't his best. It still had moments of brilliance though, that had me in stitches...falling out of his car...sleeping in the drawer...genius!


Derek is Gervais back to his best, the writing, the acting, the emotion...and the humour is bang on the money. 


I remember watching it and going through so many emotions, it is what great British telly is all about. If a program can take you on a roller coaster of emotion, make you cry and laugh at the same time...then as far as I'm concerned, it has ticked all the boxes.


I love how Gervais has once again managed to suck me into this world of Derek's.


The fact that Karl Pilkington is in the series as well, is a huge bonus as far as I'm concerned. The fact that Gervais has given the world Pilkington, is reason enough to give him a Knighthood! Idiot Abroad is one of the funniest shows ever conceived, and I cant wait for Karl and Warwick Davies new show to appear on my magic picture box. Karl just has a knack of making me smile from ear to ear, with his god given talent of producing natural comedy...love it!


Derek on the other hand does something entirely different...ok, it still has elements that made the Office and Extras such great shows, but it has so much more emotion in it. The fact that it is set in an old folks home instantly makes you attached to what is happening on screen...everyone has grand parents, and everyone fears growing old and ending up in one of those places.


Gervais portrays the character Derek so well, instantly you find him adorable..because he is so nice and caring...in his own special way. The attachment he has to the people in the home is heart wrenching, and quite difficult to watch at times.


I found it to be even more difficult to watch because I, like so many, have lost grandparents, and when I see things that remind me of them..I usually get very emotional. The scene where Derek is told that Joan has passed away really hit home, not just because I had sat with my Grandmother on her last day..but because of Gervais's portrayal of the emotions you go through, when someone you love passes away.


He truly is a great writer, producer, performer and comedian, and I really think we should thank him for being in our lives..and for what he has given us...the gift of laughter, and I for one can't wait for Derek the series to start!

15 Days Later

So, the Avengers movie has hit the cinemas, and I still haven't managed to go and see it. 


I have been waiting..nay, chomping at the bit, to go and drink in all the glorious action on the big screen, but for one reason or another (mainly cash flow), I haven't bought the tickets.


'Looking forward to this movie' is an understatement...there are certain films that come along and I get a kind of Spidey Sense, telling me that I must see this movie. From the announcement of it happening, my inner child began to giggle insanely! 


It happened most recently with the latest 'Transformers' movie, even though I knew that Mr Bay would be filling it with hardly any script as such...it didn't matter...mainly because Optimus Prime would be once again walking tall..in glorious CGI! To see him come to life in the first of Bay's outings was a shear delight...literally goose bumps all over me....and nearly a tear of utter joy!


I've had exactly the same feelings about this movie...allow me to explain a little further...remember when you were a child, and you asked your parents for a certain toy for Christmas? Then, on Christmas morning, you ran downstairs in your jimmy jams to see what Santa have left under the tree...all excited you rip open every prezzie, desperately searching for that one special toy! Then, you rip open one large box to reveal that certain item! You fill up with a warm fuzzy feeling...all over, and for that very brief moment, your life is complete. 


Well that is the feeling these kind of movies have given me, and seeing as these certain childhood emotions are very briefly felt...I need that buzz often...well as often as possible!


I remember as a child, watching all of the Avengers cartoon series, and often wondering why Iron Man's battery kept going flat....I always thought 'He can't be using Duracel'. Then as I grew up into adulthood, comic books and the movies turned my head. 


Each of the Avengers individual character films have had great elements, especially 'Iron Man' and 'Thor', both of which were superbly written and performed. Downey Jnr has been a total stroke of genius as Tony Stark, his wit and delivery is second to none.


I've read all the hype, and watched all the trailers.....and now of course, I know the movie is all I'd hoped it would be...but through third party reviews. You have no idea how much this drives me up the wall, that I can't just buy the tickets...for a viewing time specifically when there are no children / old people or chavs....sit in my half way up / middle of the screen, comfy seat...and drink it in...giggling insanely inside. 


That day will come soon....I hope......?